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Saturday, 28. February 2015
Life goes on...
ell, 12:43h
So I decided to try and write at least every other day now, and I might start with that today just as well.
I feel miserable. My night was short, for reasons known. Sleeping was not to be thought of and so I was just sitting around, doing essentially nothing, until I heard my mum go to bed around midnight.
I wanted to talk with something, but I didn't know with whom. I wanted to watch Star Trek, but I didn't want to alone. I kind of was scared of it, in the way smal kids are scared of the monster under their bed. I read that some were gathering on Vulcan in Star Trek Online, and thought about going, but couldn't get myself to actually klick on the button. I was taking the Star Trek Soundtrack CD out of my CD rack, turning it around in my hands for several minutes and in the end putting it back again.
I also couldn't get myself to any other franchise. I thought about going Star Wars, sinking myself into Stargate or getting lost in one of my other countless books of different franchises, but couldn't make myself to even look at my bookshelf. It simply didn't feel right.
After I finally had passed a whole hour that way, I decided that I had to do something. I didn't dare to face the TV, afraid of what it might show me, so I finally burrowed myself in To kill a Mockingbird which I am currently reading. I stayed up reading until around four in the morning, slept until half paast seven and read some more, until my mum burst into my room a little after ten, because I had to pull my car out of her driveway, she wanted to go grocery shopping.
To mock me in my still rather despaired situation the rain outside had given way to sunshine. I'd rather it would go on raining. To add to my perill I am now lying on the sofa with belly cramps, tea, a warm water bottle and pain killers. At least my mum knows to leave me alone like this...
I feel miserable. My night was short, for reasons known. Sleeping was not to be thought of and so I was just sitting around, doing essentially nothing, until I heard my mum go to bed around midnight.
I wanted to talk with something, but I didn't know with whom. I wanted to watch Star Trek, but I didn't want to alone. I kind of was scared of it, in the way smal kids are scared of the monster under their bed. I read that some were gathering on Vulcan in Star Trek Online, and thought about going, but couldn't get myself to actually klick on the button. I was taking the Star Trek Soundtrack CD out of my CD rack, turning it around in my hands for several minutes and in the end putting it back again.
I also couldn't get myself to any other franchise. I thought about going Star Wars, sinking myself into Stargate or getting lost in one of my other countless books of different franchises, but couldn't make myself to even look at my bookshelf. It simply didn't feel right.
After I finally had passed a whole hour that way, I decided that I had to do something. I didn't dare to face the TV, afraid of what it might show me, so I finally burrowed myself in To kill a Mockingbird which I am currently reading. I stayed up reading until around four in the morning, slept until half paast seven and read some more, until my mum burst into my room a little after ten, because I had to pull my car out of her driveway, she wanted to go grocery shopping.
To mock me in my still rather despaired situation the rain outside had given way to sunshine. I'd rather it would go on raining. To add to my perill I am now lying on the sofa with belly cramps, tea, a warm water bottle and pain killers. At least my mum knows to leave me alone like this...
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